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"Today's To Do List: Procrastinate, Masturbate, Self-Isolate" Funny Unisex Heavy Cotton Tee

"Today's To Do List: Procrastinate, Masturbate, Self-Isolate" Funny Unisex Heavy Cotton Tee

Regular price £13.99 GBP
Regular price Sale price £13.99 GBP
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This shirt sits where comfort meets sarcasm. A nod to those days when staying in feels like an activity. Wear it during lazy weekends, while gaming, or when you need a conversational icebreaker that doesn’t try too hard. The soft, midweight cotton and classic crew cut make it an easy everyday layer: throw it on with jeans, joggers, or under a denim jacket when you want to be low-key with a sharp sense of humor. It reads like a snapshot of solo days at home — lazy, candid, and unapologetic — and it fits naturally into a life that values blunt honesty, comfort, and a wink of mischief.

Product Features:
- Medium-weight 100% cotton body (Natural/heather blends per color) for durable, smooth printing
- Tubular knit (no side seams) for cleaner lines and reduced fabric waste
- Ribbed, elastic collar and taped shoulders to keep shape and prevent stretching
- Print methods: DTF for sleeve/inner neck details and DTG for main front artwork for crisp detailing
- Tear-away label and OEKO-TEX–certified materials

Care instructions
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Do not iron
- Do not dryclean
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: low heat

Size Guide:

  S M L XL 2XL 3XL 4XL 5XL
Width, in 18.00 20.00 22.00 24.00 26.00 28.00 30.00 32.00
Length, in 28.00 29.00 30.00 31.00 32.00 33.00 34.00 35.00
Sleeve length (from center back), in 15.10 16.50 18.00 19.50 21.00 22.40 23.70 25.00
Size tolerance, in 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50

 

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