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"Today's To Do List: Procrastinate, Masturbate, Self-Isolate" Funny Unisex Heavy Cotton Tee
"Today's To Do List: Procrastinate, Masturbate, Self-Isolate" Funny Unisex Heavy Cotton Tee
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This shirt sits where comfort meets sarcasm. A nod to those days when staying in feels like an activity. Wear it during lazy weekends, while gaming, or when you need a conversational icebreaker that doesn’t try too hard. The soft, midweight cotton and classic crew cut make it an easy everyday layer: throw it on with jeans, joggers, or under a denim jacket when you want to be low-key with a sharp sense of humor. It reads like a snapshot of solo days at home — lazy, candid, and unapologetic — and it fits naturally into a life that values blunt honesty, comfort, and a wink of mischief.
Product Features:
- Medium-weight 100% cotton body (Natural/heather blends per color) for durable, smooth printing
- Tubular knit (no side seams) for cleaner lines and reduced fabric waste
- Ribbed, elastic collar and taped shoulders to keep shape and prevent stretching
- Print methods: DTF for sleeve/inner neck details and DTG for main front artwork for crisp detailing
- Tear-away label and OEKO-TEX–certified materials
Care instructions
- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed
- Do not iron
- Do not dryclean
- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
- Tumble dry: low heat
Size Guide:
| S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 | 32.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 | 34.00 | 35.00 |
| Sleeve length (from center back), in | 15.10 | 16.50 | 18.00 | 19.50 | 21.00 | 22.40 | 23.70 | 25.00 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
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